Do we unintentionally show our children negative behaviors?

October 20, 2017

 

After a long discussion with my daughter, I turned to my husband and took a deep breath...."Did I really just act like my mom?"

 

We may all have said this about our mom's, dad's whomever raised us, and it is all true.  Not only do you sound like your parent, but you can act and react like them too.  You can try your hardest to get away, but the fact is at some point in your life you will unintentionally say or do something that your parents have done when you were younger.  

 

You see when you are being raised, you watch, you see, you mimic.  Watch a small child pretend to wash dishes, or talk on the phone.  They will mimic you.  You did not sit them down and say "ok honey, you take the dirty dishes and you wash them off with warm soapy water and then shut off the water...." NO! They watch you.  They mimic you.  You are all they know.  So... if you have some traits that you do not want your children to carry on, then it is time to become more mindful.  

 

My mom had a friend when I was growing up, her name was Carol.  My mom's name is Carol.  I can remember my mom and Carol talking on the phone.  I had no idea what they were saying but my sister and I followed what we saw. 

We had these really cool phones that were attached by a cord when you pick one phone up the other would ring.  I would call my sister and she would answer just like my mom "Yellow, oh hi Carol".  Then I would say "How are you Carol?"  Now on my side, I had a nail file and I would file my nails because that is what my mom would do.  On my sister side she would look in the mirror at her hair and check out her face.  Again that is what my mom would do.  Then we would laugh really loud and sip on a coffee mug. 

 

A few years ago I asked my mom if she remembered talking on the phone with Carol filing her nails.  She said she remembered talking on the phone to Carol, but she could not remember what she was doing. Well I did.  You see, my mom forgot something so natural to her, but I remembered because I mimicked her.  

 

This was an innocent example, what if your behaviors are not so innocent?   Sometimes our kids are so advanced we forget that they are children.  We have had at 20+ years of experience.  Our children do not. They may act 20+ because they are mimicking us, but their brains and how they comprehend behaviors are still a young and innocent.

 

We want to be great parents, we do what we can to give our kids what we did not have, but we do this because we still carry some of our past with us.  So, when you are told, "they are just like you."  Is that a good thing or bad thing? Let's really give our kids what we did not have, let's start with less things and more mindfulness for our unintentional behaviors.

It is a redirection of thinking before you act and react.  

 

 

Now it is your turn...when you look back, what did you so vividly remember?  

 

Namaste my friends

Sheri

 

 

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